Not every love lasts forever - and, when a relationship ends, more often than not so too ends a friendly and objective tone of conversation. In the case of separations and divorce a mediation can be helpful, because an external intermediary helps to remind the recently separated partners of the mutual respect that is needed in order to shape the future. Especially when the recent couple has had children, many things need to be talked out and settled. This is easier to achieve in the presence of a neutral intermediary. In this case a family mediation is most effective in order to discuss and agree on, in a moderated environment, such things as maintenance payments, times and schedules for receiving and returning the child(ren) and their continued upbringing.
Nevertheless, a family mediation is equally profitable for couples that cannot afford separation or divorce, couples who run into conflict due to living with one or both of their own parents (generational and/ or inheritance conflicts), for solving tensions in school and for questions of upbringing.
Premise and prerequisite for constructive mediation is that both partners want and welcome the intervention. Both have to be genuinely interested in finding a solution. If it transpires during the mediation that such is not the case, then the mediator will put an end to continued sessions. Pointing the finger and appropriating blame is not the point of a mediation: the past is not its objective, nor is who did what wrong, but rather how to make the future livable for all concerned. The mediator is not a moral judge, nor does he or she voice their opinion - he or she simply acts as chair. His or her role is to help, with as much pragmatism as possible, in the finding of a solution that satisfies all parties.
The amount of talking time is allocated equally in mediation. Every partner is also required to propose concrete solutions. Responses such as “I don't know“, or simply “I don't want to do that“ will not be accepted by the mediator. Proposals have to be constructive and formulated positively. All proposals will be documented in writing. When a solution has been found, the mediator and clients will formulate an agreement which has to be adhered to by the conflicting parties.
When children don't want to listen
Let's talk about our every day communication with children and how to improve it. In every day situations with children time and again situations arise which lead to reciprocal..
[read more]
Conflict among siblings
Rivalry, power struggles, fights, abuse and jealousy are themes in any sibling dynamic and us parents need to learn to deal with them. Conflict between siblings often causes helplessness..
[read more]
Children as Consumers
Children today are exposed to an immense supply of consumer goods. Nurseries are basically toy shops. Wardrobes are exploding at the seams. Sweets are part of every day life. Television erodes..
[read more]
Consequential Upbringing
Children like to probe how far they can push agendas with their parents, and whether they are able to enforce their wishes within a group or within the family as a whole..
[read more]
What to do in a tantrum?
Out of some inconceivable motive, harmony suddenly vanishes and children struggle with vehement “NO's“ or by throwing themselves onto the floor against anything the parent says or does. All attempts..
[read more]